Hi honey It's been a while since I have written you a note lately I've been thinking about how great things have been I get to live in a house with my very best friend in the whole world we have three super sweet kitties we both have good jobs it's almost sorta surreal I feel so happy and so lucky There is nobody else I would want to do this with I love you more than I can even put into words And even if there were words to describe how I felt I probably wouldn't bother trying to explain myself cause words cannot do it justice I'm so very proud of you and all the things you've been accomplishing from getting a job and releasing that album I am so happy to be able to be here to witness you doing things that make you happy I'm excited for your future our future so, thank you so much for everything you do so much for me and, I'll be grateful for forever because I love you so very much

emperor in reverse is it a blessing or a curse figured it was for better or for worse ill be indebted 'till the dirt emperor in reverse is it a blessing or a unplug me from my delusions of grandeur under the illusion of being in good standing bracing the impact of the crash landing gotta manage to keep cash handy easier without you around though you know it was nothing I'd complain about often you'd complain aloud when I was shutting down going into hibernation I guess I was everything short of confirmation emperor in reverse is it a blessing or a curse figured it was for better or for worse ill be indebted 'till the dirt emperor in reverse is it a blessing or a curse convenient that I didn't get my fuckin address changed it's inconvenient that my mo'fuckin address changed physically from the warmth of your heart into the barren cold moving down a path that is auto-scrolled when my mind turns back, I go into auto-scold don't go there no more I turned my house keys into your best friend hopefully she gets around to give you that back guess you don't gotta change the locks after all you say you're there but I won't bother making calls I fail to give a fuck about anything anymore body fine, it's just that my mental sore back to binging Either/Or just like before is it a blessing or a curse?

Watch as I fall apart as I lose the heart to continue on see what you do to me offer me reprieve let me down easy Watch as I pull the weight feel my back as it breaks patiently lie in wait for your only chance to shine will you take your time? I introduced you to the climb friends friends don't mean a thing especially how you think I'm on skates like the rink so fuckin watch yeah motherfucker watch you opened up the box, motherfucker x2 you opened up the box I, I internalize What I externalize A facet of my mind Fixed not in a moving state yeah i stay in place yeah i stay in place Have you no common courtesy? Rhetorical as I know fucking certainly that you don't go ahead, invite yourself right in be prideful of your sins have fun with my rent you opened up the box x2 so, Watch as I fall apart as I lose the heart to continue on see what you do to me offer me reprieve let me down easy

WAV FUNK! I keep my mouth shut, yeah I keep my mouth shut Don't disturb the garden homie shut the fuck up I keep my mouth shut yeah I keep my mouth shut I've been working on jealousy but it ain't working out for me I keep being crushed by the proverbial boot minutes into hours into years off my youth the instant aging effect of knowing the truth that naive child has died due to lack of oxygen in the tide water breached my lungs i'm stuck, clinging to greasy ladder rungs you don't look happy leather clad and dead inside watch as I over-compensate; the masquerade of having pride stripped down to nuts and bolts I am merely a man who during adversity bolts I run away I run away Don't become dismayed, cause I don't affect your life any longer so I squander every fucking opportunity given cause one thing is given I can never be self-forgiven So, I keep my mouth shut I keep my mouth shut I don't want to keep talking imma shut the fuck up statistics state that it's my natural bad luck pick A B C & D and still get none of the above what is love but a Haddaway song? what is love but a Haddaway song, motherfucker? what is love but a what is love but, keeping your mouth shut? (Shut the fuck up) Formulaic apathy, mixed with vanity here I come, down the chute, from the booth, 100 proof shit it hurts when you gotta know the fucking truth I got did with my own moves My own medicine Take two pills; act like a gentleman Don't throw smoke cause the smoke throw secondhand I put my hands Over my heart chakra in an effort to stop the bleeding who would've thunk it; below ground is my highest ceiling a stressed out bag of tricks up till 6 tryna smoke the spliff even in a depressive stupor, I roped your bitch if you hating on the game then unplug the shit heard from reliable sources that she miss the dick yeah peace out motherfucker, rest in piss rest in piss Keep my mouth shut

Words don't have meaning I've been doing winter cleaning free fire, steaming on the beat having nightmares when I should be dreaming in my sleep waking up in the middle of the night, just a habit I keep trash pile stacked 5'10"; I'm the man of this heap Piper keep coming back with the prices too steep Life is a tornado; a whirling dervish Constantly getting you to think "do I deserve it?" It's been a while since I was puffing that Turkish but it's relapse o'clock when it's you I'm burning I'm unfurling you wrapped me in a safe cocoon away from the moods away from the root of all of my problems I cannot function in love it's been taken away from me it's best that you stay away from me (stay away from me) Do not disturb If y'all could leave me the fuck alone that would be superb I'm toked off the herb my phone don't chirp my heart just hurt been hurting forever though making a life out of shrugging off the body blows I got a lot of flows each of which in which I can explain the domain in which I remain unclothed, exposed all those inner demons this is the price I pay for unexpected freedom hedonistic cretin, I know you are (I know you are) Words don't have feelings when I say them I feel nothing Would rather feel anything than nothing Is it all for nothing? is success just bluffing? do i fake it until I make it or do I awaken until I break in two personal mitotic division and either part incapable of making a decision living in free fall can't see the ground because the trees tall and I've been climbing a long time I don't know better than to be kind I just let it happen sailing ships in which I'm not the captain

you of all people should know how bad it goes when I go it alone out the door into the unknown away from the warmth of our home to be honest, I felt you growing cold a dead body that walks, talks, eats, shits, and sleeps I love you being short hand for stay away from me the irony ensues you of all people should have a clue you'd look upon me with your magnifying glass picking apart the speed bumps of my past I had never stepped over the line of transgression I had never once until this point thought of holding this over your head but i am You of all people should understand having watched me grieve firsthand walking a tightrope trying my damn best to stay steady I knew you had left already I can't help but be petty friends I still consider consider it to be human feelings without you I'm half the human being that I'm used to being you of all people can see things I care not to admit about myself this insecurity is my own ninth circle of hell I cry your name into the cold darkness 3am Michigan wind chill still stay the harshest static dancing across my television screen you of all people should know exactly what I mean exactly what I mean I just knew when I woke up today shit ain't feel right when I lost you I lost my light yet another reason I could put towards being alive this wound in my chest takes the wind out my kite you of all people held the knife you sawed away until you felt that you could sever ties remember 4 years ago when I told you not to waste your time; to leave me behind? not naturally selected in this survival of the fittest our ship is sinking and I'm the only one going down with it You of all people, why you out of all people? why does my perception of you shatter into tiny fucking pieces? plots tend to deepen, my animosity increases something amicable turned to shit for no fucking reason you of all people? Fucking with my headspace? when you were the only thing to give me clarity in the first place now I can't even put on a happy face inside of my workplace every one knows and it's a damn shame used to be amazed, now I'm ashamed you of all people don't play these motherfucking games you might as well forget you learned my damn name flush every experience we had down the damn drain dying love reincarnates into sad hate you of all people watching me die a slow and painful death; are you happy? are you happy? does she know you haven't had enough time to process how you and I have died? does she know you think about me every fucking night? You couldn't of filled the space much farther away? It never had to be this way and that's the single saddest thing you of all people.

chain smoke the depression away I chain smoke the depression away, I chain smoke the depression away. like a warship I'm incessant at bay legs shaking like the pills that I'd take been broken since 2015 trying to find something better for me until then how I'd kill just to grow up a little learn how to open doors instead of shutting them preemptively begin to look at things objectively I told myself I needed to go to therapy roundabout 6 months ago what I did in the meantime, I don't know all I know is that shit fucked itself while I watched and I longed for a way out the death we died upon second inspection was instantaneous now I'm fucking hoes miscellaneous ghost mode shit, Patrick Swayze is my alias rest in peace to the old me, you did what you could treading in bad waters trying to swim towards the good don't get me wrong I have mourned your passing this new body was emotionally taxing to create but I'm glad you're dead to me so I can end this shit proper no mentions of petty drama no mentions of shit that has long been overthought single track mind got me thinking what you've seen is unequivocal Virgo moon won't let me refrain from being analytical I tend to fret about what's on the cards future visions got me on guard, akin to swordplay universe trying to tell me there's a soulmate but I tend not to have faith cold hearts shiver in sadness on these great lakes I shouldn't waste my precious energy on these fakes so I chainsmoke the depression away I chainsmoke the depression away like a warship I bomb with nuclear waste blow your whole shit up in haste isolated cause the anger inside wish I could tell my old friends that I tried I tried Pace back and forth up the driveway fuck the high road I'll take the highway Keys to the keys like a steinway Time to fuck off and die on a Friday I would say it's my way but it's more mind state just trying to grind my way to that kind place guess I gotta remember how the mo'fuckin pint taste I guess I gotta cook beef homie, prime steak Guess I gotta be more observant in my space train myself into being able to read what the signs say lately casually decomposing homie I watch the time waste all the shit gather like monsoons real life reduced to cartoons loading the throw for the harpoon depressed as shit in this lazy river light sippin floating from place to place he's fucked up the pad he's fucked up the pen he's fucked up again I'm fucking up the cleanse can't help but get my hands dirty can I tear down my old pictures tear down what I used to forget what I couldn't do can I live you down when does closure come what is suffering for when this closure comes, will you be there when I shut the door?

Kiss of death, it's when you know this won't come back again this time I won't bother to make amends I recommend for you to take shit in threes whether it be three shots, three pills for me maybe it's all you need but I don't need you I set myself up to fail I wanted you to convince me to try I wanted you to give me reasons I warned you about changing seasons the coming moon I'm cuddled up in my rabbit hole not even sure of certainty my dreams run burgundy my heart beats preferably what I mean is when it prefers sitting in a limousine with no chauffeur riding off the mountainside i put myself here when I die, it keeps my kill/death positive my apologies for being demonstrative Kiss of death, it's when you know this won't come back again this time I won't bother to make amends I recommend for you to take shit in threes whether it be three shots, three pills for me maybe it's all you need but I don't need you I believed in you, right up until I didn't reminding me in the moment I think I've found "good people" there's a lingering paranoia that'll help me to see who you really are you're a fucking idiot if you think I would never had known that stupid hat looking ass asking where the hoes at you can't handle being alone hopeless romantic creep of plainclothes I said I'd be honored if I could play your show; is this how you repay me? to betray me? don't give me another reason motherfucker don't beg don't you plead motherfucker I revoke your claim to the steez motherfucker apologize to her and not me motherfucker I don't need it I don't fucking need it